Just sharing a few thoughts about school...
1. I HAVE to do ALL of the reading to do well.
2. I HAVE to take sufficient time to complete assignments.
3. I HAVE to take care of myself so I have energy.
Term grades are in. I love that psychology classes give means and medians for each assignment/test. I got a 95 on my final (mean of 81, median of 84) and a 93 on the final project (mean of 81, median of 79). What does this tell me? I did some things right at the end of my semester.
However, my midterm grade (one of the lowest in the class) brought my average down to an 88.4 (class mean 88.1, median 88.1), aka I was not statistically significantly different from the class average. This says a lot. I'm trying to figure out what to do.
I don't know how to fix my situation. I'm finding that I'm low on energy, mood, and motivation right now, and am about 2 weeks behind the curve of where I should be... in everything. NONE of this has caught up with me yet, because no assignments have come due. I am barely surviving at work, and feel like I'm about to crash and burn. And, again, I don't know what to do to fix my situation.
Any ideas?
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I wouldn't worry too much....As the joke goes, what do people call a doctor who barely passed? (hint: I've already answered it). Doing a doctorate is more about perseverance and 'surviving' than about trying to please supervisors. On its own, it is very difficult; then we like to throw in a few things on the side (a job, a life, a spouse, etc).
ReplyDeleteFor advice, sometimes it helps to cut the losses and continue on (so that you don't keep dragging behind). Other times, it means going crazy. However, the things I've always found to be the most helpful are to maintain a regular sleep habit (rather than pull an all-nighter), find something completely mundane or boring to relieve tension, and find something to burn frustrations. Those who learn to (1) pick and choose the battles and (2) juggle these things are the ones who survive. The maddening thing is that the strategy is very different from undergrad (and even many MA) programmes ... and anyone who says it wasn't difficult is lying. You didn't hear this from me, but if you don't read every single book cover-to-cover, you won't die or burn in hell (promise!).
Yup. What @impleri said. Choose your battles. I found some relief when I realized that if I read everything that is assigned, I read NONE of the things I should be reading to get what I want out of the program I am in. It's a constant compromise and negotiation.
ReplyDeleteAlso - don't let those statistics make you legalistic and forget how your context affects your grades. I'd rather you have a lower gpa and a healthy body and marriage - both of which will be around long after your program is over.
Thanks guys.
ReplyDeleteOne thing I decided this week is that I'm actually going to read a book on appropriately managing adult ADHD. I have to admit that my "I can fake it, I don't need help" attitude is part of my self-sabotage.
Secondly, you are both right that I have to admit that I can't be perfect, and choose my battles instead of beating myself up about not being perfect. This is one of those difficult to let go of type things, but it really needs to be done. Thanks for reminding me of that. I agree that in the long run my marriage and my self are what need to be healthy for me to practice this profession well.
Also- I need to let go of control. Just like I couldn't control getting into school, even with perfect transcripts I can't control getting the 'perfect' internship etc. If I switch my focus to doing what I can and being faithful to the learning process, then I've done what's right (I REALLY internally resist that entire idea... but you both are saying it's true, and I respect you both a lot).