Proactivity

One of the ways I am attempting to compensate for my feelings of ineptness is to start every future expectation in advance. As a first year student, I have already submitted my very early first edition of my dissertation proposal, been involved in a research team, worked with my advisor to keep my pacing up, and yesterday I had a meeting with our university Internship director to ensure that I am heading in the right direction to prepare for that competitive process I will be in approximately 2.5 years from now.

His feedback was interesting; he noted that one of the most significant differential indicators of performance isn't grades (there is a minimum expectation that everyone by that point should be performing at), it's proactivity. He explained that proactive people seek knowledge, pursue growth, and don't have to be dragged kicking and screaming through some of the difficult processes of obtaining a doctoral degree. He encouraged me to have a clear vision for my dissertation (check), get to know faculty well and personally (check), get involved in research (check), develop my writing style and articulation (check).

I was relieved that he said all those things. When I ran down where I am at to him (working in private practice, about to begin Grad Assistantship coordinating a research project, already having some of my dissertation committee formed and reviewing my initial proposal, etc.) he pretty much stated that I am already way ahead of the game, and I just need to keep running with it. I am almost verbatim quoting him saying "the fact that you're here meeting with me now already tells me a whole lot about who you are as a student and how you will succeed at all this". He seemed impressed, which made me really happy.

All in all, I am purely excited about where this is headed. I still feel like I'm perpetually playing catch up, but I have ONE summer goal: get my organization of school/work/research established so that I can function in that mode successfully for the following 3 years. I believe I can do it :)